In my Heart

Friday - 3/10/08

I know it's been a long time since i've last blogged. Lots of things have been happening to me. Have anyone of you ever felt as lonely as i have? I have friends all around me and yet on the inside, i feel so so lonely. Its a masquerade. Sometimes i wonder to myself.. all these happy faces i give to people around me.. is it really me? Is it a lie that i show to everyone to hide the sorrows beneath it? Letting my close friends know of how i'm really feeling..would only bring unhappiness.. why cause unhappiness when i can bring smiles to those faces?

Don't get me wrong.. i am happy with my friends.. i love doing stuff and hanging out with them.. but when i stop to think.. It's been a long time since i've ever felt truely happy.. its been more than a yr since i've really smiled on the inside.. another joy have been taken from me.. if i've kept it.. i would be the happiest person on earth.. but i chose to let it go.. i can never forgive myself for the cruel things i have done..

Never..